Spirituality and Rape ..How To Address The Issue by Rose Quartz

My back ground was mental health counseling before it was energy healing. *Melody was a disabled woman with honey blond hair that swung below her hips. She looked very much like any one, but she had developmental disabilities which affected her cognitive functioning. A grown woman with the "mind" of a fourteen year old.

 She was my client so I was called to Harborview  Medical Center to meet with her after her rape kit was given and she had completed the post rape medical exam. I don't remember much. Except the way her pain seemed to scrape and attack her face from the inside out. Anger. How. Why. Me. And howling pain. Scrunched up shame like a paper ball exploding behind her cheekbones and eye sockets. Tears were the last thing I noticed. They were futile in washing the bad feelings away. She cried but felt no release. She tried not to cry. Mainly she hated herself.

Later alone at my desk I cried and could not stop. It hurt so much. "It" being rape. As a counselor we were not taught how to protect our "energy".  And when it comes to sitting across from a rape victim hours after the rape there is no good preparation. I imagine those who work in trauma have learned to build a wall up to protect themselves from the daily pain of victims. Even before I was a healer, I was a healer so it was natural for me to absorb some of the overload of her pain.

In this case I was not the victim of rape.. I was able to cry it out and eventually clear out much of the immediate shame and betrayal I felt. Unlike the victim of rape my private parts had not been grossly intruded upon. My body had not been smudged with dirty hands or touched by the breathe of a monster. I could walk to my car without walking a walk of shame. I was still whole. 

Years later I came into the healing field and energy work. I noticed many professional helpers from Life Coaches to Spiritual  Healers often suggest that the things that happen to us..happen because  we on some level wanted them to or asked for it. Common philosophies are:

1.) It is part of  your Souls Journey and you asked for the Experience before you were born 

2.) We attract everything that happens to us based on the quality of our thoughts..i.e. "positive " or "negative" thoughts create "positive" or "negative" experiences.

Both philosophies put responsibility on the victim. This works well enough when a practitioner is fishing for clients and the issues are lightweight. But what about rape..? 

Similarly, when it comes to the rape of continents and  the rape of cultures and populations thru wars..law of attraction philosophies do not cut it. The truth is that bad things happen all the time at the hands of bad people.  And there is a spiritual reason for bad people and entities but..beyond that, the pain they cause has no excuse.  Victims are victims. To suggest someones soul wanted to experience rape is the reason why many healers are not taken seriously. Instead we must share the divine truth that the human nature is immensely strong and there are ways to survive rape and survive the post traumatic stress that can haunt a person for an entire lifetime if not addressed with love and care.

Healers can help by listening and  by beginning the work of helping clients release the pain anywhere and everywhere it has manifested and is stored in their body. This pain can settle in the physical body as well as victims energy fields. There will also be repressed memories, and subconscious layers to tangle with and set free. There will and should always be an everlasting sense of violation. 

Some practitioners like to offer magic bullets and immediate healing. And it is true many of us can go in  and remove blockages. But in order for an individual to heal it is my belief  that they must take their time to really and thoroughly go thru a process that they control. Assisting with tools to strengthen them for the journey is our best bet. Breathe, Meditation , Helping them loosen up blocks and gently begin energy movement. Being there for them and letting them know we see the progress is our most important job. The scars of rape go straight to the soul, rip thru the spirit and damage the entire universe. We must be there to help facilitate healing. But we cannot do it for them.

I hope this Blog Has Been Helpful To All Of Us on Our Healing Journey
Peace and Blessings From Emily Imani Rose Quartz
Presenter, Workshop Leader, Consultant
emily.imani@gmail.com

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Harmony Between The Sex's: His and Her Perspective Blog by RoseQuartz and Trai

How has the opposite sex helped you identify traits about yourself  whether it be masculine, or feminine? 

His Perspective by Trai

"Supreme harmony is the principal that holds the universe together. I would say balance, but balance is immovable and there is no life if nothing is moving" -Trai

A partner, relative, or friend has many aspects about themselves that make up who they are. Who they are, can help us identify characteristics about ourselves in countless ways.

These traits are our logical, and feeling aspects. It does not necessarily have to be someone close, or someone you know. When you notice a certain attribute about someone, it has an appeal to the observer.  It can be their speech, posture, sensitivity. 

As a man I can say alot of  the traits that I gained in my younger days, are from my mother, as far as being more emotionally reactive to situations instead of balancing my reactions out with a more logical approach. 

After much  needed quality time with my partner, it made sense to me, that while being together with her,  I felt more in place with myself.  In her presence I no longer had to put so much of my energy into being  my own emotional support system.  

Letting your partner take back that character in either category of masculine or feminine, can place them “in their power” where they work their suitable placement by default. In summary, letting your partner be the man or woman they are supposed to be can free you from feeling like you have to play the identity of both.

Her Perspective by RoseQuartz

In many ways I am a very feminine woman. But on a day to day basis, I tend to rely more on my so called "masculine" traits.  Problem solving and getting to the point of things is important. As mother parenting by myself, I have do much more than  the feminine role of nurturing or my household will fall apart.  Of course I feel more feminine in my free time, but it doesn't compare to what happens when near to a man.

If I'm with a man such as my partner, who I feel safe with, I can let my feminine nature breathe. It's a relief to me.   

Looking at him..

I begin to witness masculine traits as they appear in a man, not just as an abstract concept within myself. 

I enjoy letting him lead our way thru crowds. Because he has no desire to meet the needs of random people on the street, he creates a protective barrier around us.  He hasn't spent his life being socialized as most woman have, to be polite and to smile while walking down the street.. or get cussed out by total strangers.

Final Thoughts:

 The opposite sex reveals to me what I am not, and allows me to fall deeper in love with what I am.  In our modern society boys cant help but to pick up on their single moms ways of  dealing with stuff, which  denies them a chance to tap into their dominant masculine traits. Meanwhile, girls & women are forced to  over- develop their masculine traits in the struggles for survival with no man around. The end result is that  many of us bring too much of the same dish to the table when it comes to our romantic relationships. 

Taking the time to talk about how the opposite sex helps you identify your masculine and/or feminine traits is great way to learn more about each other.  Each one of us possess BOTH masculine and feminine energy.  Part of unconditional love/ healing  is bringing those energies into  a fluid state of balance within ourselves.  Undoing the ways society and our families shaped us helps us be free to be our best selves with our partner.

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Overwhelmed to Inner Peace, Fear of Being Yourself in a Cold World

These days its way too easy to be overwhelmed. Notice I did not say to "feel" overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed is  different. You may not even feel anything at all as you appear, even to yourself, to be gliding thru the day with a mutable facial expression. A smile here as needed,  then a blank look as soon as you turn the corner that changes into a growling frown when a weaker, more annoying person than yourself appears on the horizon. The minute someone asks you how you are, your inner robot spurts out "Fine!" then tosses the question back as if in retribution. "And how are you ? "..

In an economically fragile time more people than not are forced into an unspoken competition. The scoreboard is recorded on social media. Events, name dropping,  charitable acts are tallied up. Likeable, lovable and wow type ratings are given for images of you, which you have chosen out of ten less flattering pictures. Your inbox floods with people whom you have nothing much to say. Emojis become your best friend. Oh what a life. How in the hell can I get out ?

Sitting near a pine tree in my front yard, dressed in a few layers but warming up in a particularly hot beaming October sun..I struggle to focus on my work. In the corner of my laptop little notifications pop up. My curiosity drifts ..it's only one click. We all have such issues, meanwhile we are facing our fears of homelessness and failure. We are told to never give up on our dreams. So here under all the layers I ask , What is my dream ?

 I have been thinking alot about images and my image being an outward manifestation of my imagination and spirit. I been called a sensualista for quite a while. My digital footprint is maybe too expository. I dance alot. I show my womanhood and sensuality as being natural, awkward and unstaged, soft, strong , vital and healthy. Political and intellectual. And I know for a fact that at times this has blocked me from getting a job. My digital footprint is more or less my real footprints, barefoot and where I been, how I dance, what I think. It's not entirely embraced by a society that loves to buy and sell sex..but hates to see sensuality without whoredom. 

I close my eyes and take deep breathes. One grey cat, then a brownish one slowly creep past testing the waters of my human form, trustworthy but still testing. I breathe and listen to birds. I here a spurring noise of wings fluttering by. I try to ignore the voices of kids on the block. I just wanna hear the birds. I wish I was somewhere hotter in less clothes. That the breeze was of saltwater mist cooling my face. I create in my minds inner space, a different state of mind. I want to be a good woman, a good "girlfriend",  a great mother and  everything else I could possibly be. My standards leave no room for life. Maybe we are pushed too hard to push ourselves too hard into a whirl of  over thinking, overdoing and  non satisfaction.

The remedy ? Go be where you love, Go be with who you love. It might just be you is all you need, everything else is icing on the cake so choose the flavor and consistency that adds to it , but does not overwhelm the taste of you.

I release the need to be more than what I am. I release the need to over think my success/ I accept life as it is. What I do naturally is my calling. 

Peace and Blessings From Rose Quartz

Emily Imani Rose Quartz

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Rose Quartz Boutique : Autumn Cravings by Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz Boutique : Autumn Cravings by Rose Quartz: If you have a craving for something you should explore it, even if it is something huge, like a new way of living-  Rose Quartz ...

Rose Quartz Boutique : Is Dove Soap Ad Really Racist ? The Dirty Truth by...

Rose Quartz Boutique : Is Dove Soap Ad Really Racist ? The Dirty Truth by...: We have whites still asking us if we wash our hair and other ridiculous questions. And in all honest truth many whites have admitted to us ...

Is The Dove Soap Ad Really Racist ? New From Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz 

We have whites still asking us if we wash our hair and other ridiculous questions. And in all honest truth many whites have admitted to us in secret how much they admire our skin and wish they had it. So why the public disrespect ? Or are we Over-Reacting 

- Rose Quartz

This is a brief blog to address the Dove Soap Ad in which a Black Model Turns White as she peels off a brown t- shirt and brown face . The Black Model involved says the photo shoot involved a multi racial group of models "turning into each other" to show that all women have skin problems and deserve to be moisturized. However the print add has struck many as offensive. It seems similiar to a laundry detergent add that applied the same sort of racial transformation to speak on the topic of going from "dirty to clean" and from  "soiled to fresh". The Dove ad also seems to suggest an upgrade from "dry to soft skin".  Also worrisome is Dove has a product which states it is for "Normal to Dark Skin"....wait ..is Dark Skin not normal skin ?

   Dark skinned people are the majority on this earth. We are also a massive consumer group many of whom buy drain-clogging, goopy, greasy "body washes" which are mostly an application of synthetic perfume that one slathers on and rinses off in the shower to acquire a smell better than they had before.

I hope that most of us are wise enough to not put chemical based store bought products on our skin. That is not healthy for anybody. While mainstream companies have begun to utilize shea butter as a moisturizer, our hope is that people will choose to purchase their Shea butter from community vendors who purchase directly from African Vendors to get the purist products. Moist skin ? No thanks. How about clean shining , smooth, radiant brown and dark skin that holds light and captures the  life giving rays of the sun , embraced by natural beauty ? 

Everyone deserves to feels beautiful. Constantly being portrayed as the Before picture is absurd.

Doves Ongoing Theme as it Appears To Suggest
Dry Pre-Washed= Dark Skin, Are We Misunderstanding ?

We think this ad is potentially harmful to some people self esteem, In some cases here in America and abroad, people with dark skin are made to feel inferior, despite often speaking multiple languages, and having a varitey of amazing skills and a historical legacy of teaching everything from superior agricultural practices to architecture and medicine and healing to other lighter skinned people. This add can hurt those who suffer at the hands of society impressing further on them that dark skin is unsavory. This blog is quick reminder of who taught who to bathe. It may seem petty to even respond to Dove but it is not a waste of time to clear up the confusion. Myself and many other darkskinned people have had to deal with the silliness of whites asking us if our dark was dirt. We have whites still asking us if we wash our hair and other ridiculous questions. And in all honest truth many whites have admitted to us in secret how much they admire our skin and wish they had it. So why the public disrespect ?

Detergent Ad in which a Black Man Gets Pushed in a Washer
and Comes out a Lighter Skin

Dove is Consistant With Illustrating Dry/ Bad  as being Darker Shade
& Clean/Moist Skin=White

A Brief Peek into History Tells Us  That The History Of Racism Stinks 
( No one should be making anyone feel bad due to race or skin color) 

" In Medieval Europe members of the upper classes, on the other hand, rather than completely forgo bathing, tended to cut down their full body bathing habits down to around a few times per year, striking a balance between risk of acquiring a disease from the bath vs. body stench"
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/05/why-bathing-was-uncommon-in-medievaleurope/

 The citizens of Williamsburg would have smelled pretty ripe, too. Even the dandified Tory would have struck modern nostrils as noticeably aromatic. It's safe to assume that we would have found the entire Old Dominion-in fact, all thirteen colonies-afflicted with B.O. And since everyone stank, no one noticed it or recorded it for history. Sensitive souls might bury their faces in nosegays or scented hankies when a long-unwashed regiment tramped past, but most of our forebears remained as blissfully unaware of their stench as we are of the growing foulness of our air.

Ablutions were skimpy in those days. A little dab here and there with a damp cloth would do you, even in the fashionable capital of Virginia. 

Edwards Park's article "The British in Williamsburg" appeared in the Autumn 1995 issue of this journal.

 "Most black hair does not produce its own oils... which is why they should not wash their hair as often and need proper moisturizers. white people on the other hand produce lots of oil which needs to be washed out often to keep it looking clean." - White Mother of a Biracial Daughter


"The Greeks were the first civilized Europeans who were primarily civilized by the Black Africans of the Nile Valley. The Greeks passed on this acquired culture to the Romans who ultimately lost it, thus initiating the dark ages that lasted for 500 years. Civilization was again restored to Europe when another group of Black Africans, The Moors, brought the Dark Ages to an end.  During the dark ages in Christian Europe, the Moors had built more than 300 public baths throughout its 21 suburbs, also introducing Spain to underwear and bathing with soap, at a time when taking a bath was thought to be a diabolical practice to be shunned by all good Christians, and cleanliness was regarded as a sin. Human waste was simply thrown into the streets because there were no bathrooms available."
-Norman McCleary, Internationl Historian

"For some lower class citizens, particularly men, this resulted in them largely forgoing bathing whenever possible.  During this time, people tended to restrict their hygienic arrangements to just washing hands, parts of the face, and rinsing their mouths. Washing one’s entire face was thought to be dangerous as it was believed to cause catarrh and weaken the eyesight, so even this was infrequent."


Hmmm.. well we are not going to give a conclusive analysis of the dove soap ad. But ahh I think I smell a rat.

Autumn Cravings by Rose Quartz

If you have a craving for something you should explore it, even if it is something huge, like a new way of living-  Rose Quartz

A temptation may not be a good thing  A temptation plays on weakness, bad timing, poor planning and lack of discipline. 

But a craving really seriously comes from within. As you think about what you are craving you do not need to rush out and get it. If you want a pizza that really satisfies, it might be worth flying to Chi-Town to get a real deep dish pizza. Yumm. Craving. Chase it. You won't find that  flavor  in the freezer section. Go where your craving takes you. Be specific.

Exploring a craving may lead you to plan the perfect rendezvous. It gives you time to think twice, about who and what is really worth your time.

How much do you want to enjoy and slowly savor what you are craving ?

Do you crave it as a sweet temporary pleasure or is your craving really a passion worth a permanent place in your life ?  Do you believe you are  ready to always have what you crave nearby ? Sometimes we don't trust ourselves with what we desire. Especially happiness. But if you stop thinking about it you will notice that happiness really likes your company.

The other day I caught myself craving pumkim stew. Something I never had before but the concept seemed right for a September night. I googled images and recipes and thought uhmm yes, that does look good. I never did get around to cooking it though. Today I craved tacos with jamaican jerk seasoned ground beef on corn tortillas with sharp cheddar, green onions, salsa.. and cilantro..it's cooking now. And from what I just sampled they are goin to be delicious.

Pumpkin Stew..maybe..some other time

We crave. Excitement. Peace of Mind. Chaos. Quiet. We want it all, at different times.  Obtaining it..it doesn't have to be physical. Sometimes it's just a feeling we associate with  the magic of the changing seasons. Sometimes it's taste we forgot about or a beach we have never been. Giving into a craving can be done without rush . Think about what you are craving. Talk about what you are craving.  Create a plan. Make things happen either in the physical or imaginal. 

For many it's the beginning of a long desert filled holiday season, but who really wants to put on an extra fifteen pounds if it will make you feel bad about yourself.  You may discover that cravings go beyond food and sex.   It is ok to crave feeling light and skip the giblet gravy, piles of mashed potatoes and pies. Unless that's what you really been craving. Then go ahead. 

 It's ok to be an adult who loves a snuggly teddy bear, a good cigar or whatever. Indulge.  Desire itself is an amazing manifest of the mind. Make choices you can really surrender to.. but only if that sounds good to you. 

Enjoy. Peace and  Blessings

Emily Imani Rose Quartz
Seattle Based Alternative Healing
Counselor, Consultant, Presenter, Workshop Leader
Author of An Environment For Ecstasy The Total
Cultural Guide To Getting and Giving Better Pleasure