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Americas Shame: Grabbers and Gropers

 These guys could care less about sex . They love to grope, to shame, to overpower..they are the true example of weakness in human flesh.

Joe Biden 

Every day I voyeur onto to social media I see the many disturbing words and comments from men such as Donald Trump. I realize sadly that I spent my whole life under the spell of  men who were lewd . For example as a kid I vaguely remember watching Johnny Carson on a show called Late Night America. He interviewed stars and always made himself very disgusting and lewd. He was always making jokes and leering at young women's breasts and being very unpleasantly sexually flirtatious ( I may be mixing him up with David Letterman but honestly I think they both did this on TV every night). The camera seemed to zoom in on the looks of real discomfort of the poor young women guests who were forced to endure this public torture. It seemed someone thought that the squirming  of sexual harassment victims was entertaining.

David Letterman

Being a kid I somewhat normalized what I saw. Gross  men, pretty  girls. Putting up with shit was the price these now forgotten female actresses had to pay..it never crossed my mind that really, seriously, these  women may have had something important they wanted to say, but they ended up spending their fifteen minutes of fame being the butt of sexual jokes based on their body parts.

Biden Again, King of Touchy Feely

This is the dominant culture. It's not new. It's as old as slavery and every other form of breaking the human spirit . I'ts a sly form of energy vampirism, and in the physical world this sort of behaviour..such as drugging women and having sex with them..equates sexual violence.

Obama come get your boy..Biden

Her body language shows discomfort and he knows she is uncomfortable 

Biden back in the day

 And ALL men should care because you are on the hit list too. Maybe more than you think.  Recently a heterosexual Black male actor age 49 chose to file charges against a White male Hollywood executive for groping him. It seems these disgusting gropers enjoy absolutely humiliating their victims. So it is not just about attacking and degrading females. They can get the same and sometimes even a bigger "thrill ( jolt of energy) from groping a Black Man whom is heterosexual and married. Actor Terry Crews says of the incident...even after shoving the offender away...

"I have never felt more emasculated, more objectified. I was horrified," Crews said. "It's so bizarre. I wake up every morning wondering, 'Did this really happen?'"

What these sick types enjoy is your discomfort. They enjoy the taking of innocence and making their victims question themselves. They are one nefarious spirit that exists in  quite a few men in power. Sex is not enough. They have no inner concept of love.  If you think these are healthy red blooded men who just happen to lust after sex a little too robustly..think again. They are not seeking sex or even sexual pleasure. They are seeking victims.

Pope and his Goon

 They go around groping everyone from their own daughters to strangers. You may think they do this for sexual pleasure..but these guys do this because they are sick. They have no idea what pleasure is. When caught they play the goofy lil boy and blame it on hormones and  that the victim was being sexually provocative. Do not fall for the lies. Grown ass men are not little boys. Its sad  that our society tends to fall for that excuse.

Groped and Shamed on Stage By Her Favorite Rapper

When powerful men suddenly become befuddled due to a woman and or girl ( or male victim) and just cant help but to reach out and grab or grope..we must refuse to accept any excuse. These men know exactly what they are doing . It's not about them being aroused sexually and misreading their victims body language. The fact is that these men use sexual behaviour as a mask and scapegoat for their need to excerpt power over others.

Hands off The Babies Please!

We have to speak up. About real love, healthy sexuality and sensuality. We cannot lay down for their bullshit. It infects cartoons, commercials and becomes a subliminal message .. that people are just bodies that you can use. But the real energy they seek comes from taking another humans spirit.. and taking some ones inner  peace away. They use unwanted sexual touch as a weapons to let others know they can control and overpower you. They can fuck up your head just by groping you..just by undressing you with their eyes.

Being groped is annoying and hurtful and hard to prove whether it was a grope or an innocent touch

They leave the message that sexuality is not beautiful. We must recognize these "people" are using sex and sexual harassment as weapons and  as ways to syphon the energy of their victims. They are horrible role models because by default they teach young men that bodies have no emotional feelings, that the victims feelings are not important and that its just fine to go thru life disrespecting everyone. This is not about sex, pleasure or anything remotely healthy.

They love to grope, to shame, to overpower, to ridicule and humiliate. I can't say what creates them, but I will say that when we, as  a society, put handsome and or rich and charismatic young men on a pedestal..simply because they are charming..we tend to end up with a bunch of balding pot bellied self centered old scum buckets in positions of power.

Mr. Pussy Grabber Himself with his handful of a Daughter

Sex may have come easy for them back in the days. As they age they  start to take what they were always offered. Think of the stories of Hugh Heffner with his  failing dick forcing beautiful models to have sex with him though he could not stay hard anymore even with Viagra and was disgusting to look at. Why did he keep torturing women like that ? He was incapable of feeling pleasure and he knew they were miserable straddling his bony body..so it is obvious sex was used as a form of  "raising hell". The best he could do was take thier energy.

 This is why I will say do not put men on a pedestal when they are young and charming  . When he gets old  he will still feel he has a right to do whatever he wants,even though his charm has long been gone.Whatever makes a groper , a grabber, a bum ass man. We stand united against it. Male, female, young and old..all can be victims.  This type of person..gropers and grabbers.. should not be in leadership positions or within arms length of anyone.

Notice the tense body language of the girl she would slap him but its her crush

Spirituality and Rape ..How To Address The Issue by Rose Quartz

My back ground was mental health counseling before it was energy healing. *Melody was a disabled woman with honey blond hair that swung below her hips. She looked very much like any one, but she had developmental disabilities which affected her cognitive functioning. A grown woman with the "mind" of a fourteen year old.

 She was my client so I was called to Harborview  Medical Center to meet with her after her rape kit was given and she had completed the post rape medical exam. I don't remember much. Except the way her pain seemed to scrape and attack her face from the inside out. Anger. How. Why. Me. And howling pain. Scrunched up shame like a paper ball exploding behind her cheekbones and eye sockets. Tears were the last thing I noticed. They were futile in washing the bad feelings away. She cried but felt no release. She tried not to cry. Mainly she hated herself.

Later alone at my desk I cried and could not stop. It hurt so much. "It" being rape. As a counselor we were not taught how to protect our "energy".  And when it comes to sitting across from a rape victim hours after the rape there is no good preparation. I imagine those who work in trauma have learned to build a wall up to protect themselves from the daily pain of victims. Even before I was a healer, I was a healer so it was natural for me to absorb some of the overload of her pain.

In this case I was not the victim of rape.. I was able to cry it out and eventually clear out much of the immediate shame and betrayal I felt. Unlike the victim of rape my private parts had not been grossly intruded upon. My body had not been smudged with dirty hands or touched by the breathe of a monster. I could walk to my car without walking a walk of shame. I was still whole. 

Years later I came into the healing field and energy work. I noticed many professional helpers from Life Coaches to Spiritual  Healers often suggest that the things that happen to us..happen because  we on some level wanted them to or asked for it. Common philosophies are:

1.) It is part of  your Souls Journey and you asked for the Experience before you were born 

2.) We attract everything that happens to us based on the quality of our thoughts..i.e. "positive " or "negative" thoughts create "positive" or "negative" experiences.

Both philosophies put responsibility on the victim. This works well enough when a practitioner is fishing for clients and the issues are lightweight. But what about rape..? 

Similarly, when it comes to the rape of continents and  the rape of cultures and populations thru wars..law of attraction philosophies do not cut it. The truth is that bad things happen all the time at the hands of bad people.  And there is a spiritual reason for bad people and entities but..beyond that, the pain they cause has no excuse.  Victims are victims. To suggest someones soul wanted to experience rape is the reason why many healers are not taken seriously. Instead we must share the divine truth that the human nature is immensely strong and there are ways to survive rape and survive the post traumatic stress that can haunt a person for an entire lifetime if not addressed with love and care.

Healers can help by listening and  by beginning the work of helping clients release the pain anywhere and everywhere it has manifested and is stored in their body. This pain can settle in the physical body as well as victims energy fields. There will also be repressed memories, and subconscious layers to tangle with and set free. There will and should always be an everlasting sense of violation. 

Some practitioners like to offer magic bullets and immediate healing. And it is true many of us can go in  and remove blockages. But in order for an individual to heal it is my belief  that they must take their time to really and thoroughly go thru a process that they control. Assisting with tools to strengthen them for the journey is our best bet. Breathe, Meditation , Helping them loosen up blocks and gently begin energy movement. Being there for them and letting them know we see the progress is our most important job. The scars of rape go straight to the soul, rip thru the spirit and damage the entire universe. We must be there to help facilitate healing. But we cannot do it for them.

I hope this Blog Has Been Helpful To All Of Us on Our Healing Journey
Peace and Blessings From Emily Imani Rose Quartz
Presenter, Workshop Leader, Consultant
emily.imani@gmail.com

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Harmony Between The Sex's: His and Her Perspective Blog by RoseQuartz and Trai

How has the opposite sex helped you identify traits about yourself  whether it be masculine, or feminine? 

His Perspective by Trai

"Supreme harmony is the principal that holds the universe together. I would say balance, but balance is immovable and there is no life if nothing is moving" -Trai

A partner, relative, or friend has many aspects about themselves that make up who they are. Who they are, can help us identify characteristics about ourselves in countless ways.

These traits are our logical, and feeling aspects. It does not necessarily have to be someone close, or someone you know. When you notice a certain attribute about someone, it has an appeal to the observer.  It can be their speech, posture, sensitivity. 

As a man I can say alot of  the traits that I gained in my younger days, are from my mother, as far as being more emotionally reactive to situations instead of balancing my reactions out with a more logical approach. 

After much  needed quality time with my partner, it made sense to me, that while being together with her,  I felt more in place with myself.  In her presence I no longer had to put so much of my energy into being  my own emotional support system.  

Letting your partner take back that character in either category of masculine or feminine, can place them “in their power” where they work their suitable placement by default. In summary, letting your partner be the man or woman they are supposed to be can free you from feeling like you have to play the identity of both.

Her Perspective by RoseQuartz

In many ways I am a very feminine woman. But on a day to day basis, I tend to rely more on my so called "masculine" traits.  Problem solving and getting to the point of things is important. As mother parenting by myself, I have do much more than  the feminine role of nurturing or my household will fall apart.  Of course I feel more feminine in my free time, but it doesn't compare to what happens when near to a man.

If I'm with a man such as my partner, who I feel safe with, I can let my feminine nature breathe. It's a relief to me.   

Looking at him..

I begin to witness masculine traits as they appear in a man, not just as an abstract concept within myself. 

I enjoy letting him lead our way thru crowds. Because he has no desire to meet the needs of random people on the street, he creates a protective barrier around us.  He hasn't spent his life being socialized as most woman have, to be polite and to smile while walking down the street.. or get cussed out by total strangers.

Final Thoughts:

 The opposite sex reveals to me what I am not, and allows me to fall deeper in love with what I am.  In our modern society boys cant help but to pick up on their single moms ways of  dealing with stuff, which  denies them a chance to tap into their dominant masculine traits. Meanwhile, girls & women are forced to  over- develop their masculine traits in the struggles for survival with no man around. The end result is that  many of us bring too much of the same dish to the table when it comes to our romantic relationships. 

Taking the time to talk about how the opposite sex helps you identify your masculine and/or feminine traits is great way to learn more about each other.  Each one of us possess BOTH masculine and feminine energy.  Part of unconditional love/ healing  is bringing those energies into  a fluid state of balance within ourselves.  Undoing the ways society and our families shaped us helps us be free to be our best selves with our partner.

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Overwhelmed to Inner Peace, Fear of Being Yourself in a Cold World

These days its way too easy to be overwhelmed. Notice I did not say to "feel" overwhelmed. Being overwhelmed is  different. You may not even feel anything at all as you appear, even to yourself, to be gliding thru the day with a mutable facial expression. A smile here as needed,  then a blank look as soon as you turn the corner that changes into a growling frown when a weaker, more annoying person than yourself appears on the horizon. The minute someone asks you how you are, your inner robot spurts out "Fine!" then tosses the question back as if in retribution. "And how are you ? "..

In an economically fragile time more people than not are forced into an unspoken competition. The scoreboard is recorded on social media. Events, name dropping,  charitable acts are tallied up. Likeable, lovable and wow type ratings are given for images of you, which you have chosen out of ten less flattering pictures. Your inbox floods with people whom you have nothing much to say. Emojis become your best friend. Oh what a life. How in the hell can I get out ?

Sitting near a pine tree in my front yard, dressed in a few layers but warming up in a particularly hot beaming October sun..I struggle to focus on my work. In the corner of my laptop little notifications pop up. My curiosity drifts ..it's only one click. We all have such issues, meanwhile we are facing our fears of homelessness and failure. We are told to never give up on our dreams. So here under all the layers I ask , What is my dream ?

 I have been thinking alot about images and my image being an outward manifestation of my imagination and spirit. I been called a sensualista for quite a while. My digital footprint is maybe too expository. I dance alot. I show my womanhood and sensuality as being natural, awkward and unstaged, soft, strong , vital and healthy. Political and intellectual. And I know for a fact that at times this has blocked me from getting a job. My digital footprint is more or less my real footprints, barefoot and where I been, how I dance, what I think. It's not entirely embraced by a society that loves to buy and sell sex..but hates to see sensuality without whoredom. 

I close my eyes and take deep breathes. One grey cat, then a brownish one slowly creep past testing the waters of my human form, trustworthy but still testing. I breathe and listen to birds. I here a spurring noise of wings fluttering by. I try to ignore the voices of kids on the block. I just wanna hear the birds. I wish I was somewhere hotter in less clothes. That the breeze was of saltwater mist cooling my face. I create in my minds inner space, a different state of mind. I want to be a good woman, a good "girlfriend",  a great mother and  everything else I could possibly be. My standards leave no room for life. Maybe we are pushed too hard to push ourselves too hard into a whirl of  over thinking, overdoing and  non satisfaction.

The remedy ? Go be where you love, Go be with who you love. It might just be you is all you need, everything else is icing on the cake so choose the flavor and consistency that adds to it , but does not overwhelm the taste of you.

I release the need to be more than what I am. I release the need to over think my success/ I accept life as it is. What I do naturally is my calling. 

Peace and Blessings From Rose Quartz

Emily Imani Rose Quartz

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Rose Quartz Boutique : Autumn Cravings by Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz Boutique : Autumn Cravings by Rose Quartz: If you have a craving for something you should explore it, even if it is something huge, like a new way of living-  Rose Quartz ...

Rose Quartz Boutique : Is Dove Soap Ad Really Racist ? The Dirty Truth by...

Rose Quartz Boutique : Is Dove Soap Ad Really Racist ? The Dirty Truth by...: We have whites still asking us if we wash our hair and other ridiculous questions. And in all honest truth many whites have admitted to us ...

Is The Dove Soap Ad Really Racist ? New From Rose Quartz

Rose Quartz 

We have whites still asking us if we wash our hair and other ridiculous questions. And in all honest truth many whites have admitted to us in secret how much they admire our skin and wish they had it. So why the public disrespect ? Or are we Over-Reacting 

- Rose Quartz

This is a brief blog to address the Dove Soap Ad in which a Black Model Turns White as she peels off a brown t- shirt and brown face . The Black Model involved says the photo shoot involved a multi racial group of models "turning into each other" to show that all women have skin problems and deserve to be moisturized. However the print add has struck many as offensive. It seems similiar to a laundry detergent add that applied the same sort of racial transformation to speak on the topic of going from "dirty to clean" and from  "soiled to fresh". The Dove ad also seems to suggest an upgrade from "dry to soft skin".  Also worrisome is Dove has a product which states it is for "Normal to Dark Skin"....wait ..is Dark Skin not normal skin ?

   Dark skinned people are the majority on this earth. We are also a massive consumer group many of whom buy drain-clogging, goopy, greasy "body washes" which are mostly an application of synthetic perfume that one slathers on and rinses off in the shower to acquire a smell better than they had before.

I hope that most of us are wise enough to not put chemical based store bought products on our skin. That is not healthy for anybody. While mainstream companies have begun to utilize shea butter as a moisturizer, our hope is that people will choose to purchase their Shea butter from community vendors who purchase directly from African Vendors to get the purist products. Moist skin ? No thanks. How about clean shining , smooth, radiant brown and dark skin that holds light and captures the  life giving rays of the sun , embraced by natural beauty ? 

Everyone deserves to feels beautiful. Constantly being portrayed as the Before picture is absurd.

Doves Ongoing Theme as it Appears To Suggest
Dry Pre-Washed= Dark Skin, Are We Misunderstanding ?

We think this ad is potentially harmful to some people self esteem, In some cases here in America and abroad, people with dark skin are made to feel inferior, despite often speaking multiple languages, and having a varitey of amazing skills and a historical legacy of teaching everything from superior agricultural practices to architecture and medicine and healing to other lighter skinned people. This add can hurt those who suffer at the hands of society impressing further on them that dark skin is unsavory. This blog is quick reminder of who taught who to bathe. It may seem petty to even respond to Dove but it is not a waste of time to clear up the confusion. Myself and many other darkskinned people have had to deal with the silliness of whites asking us if our dark was dirt. We have whites still asking us if we wash our hair and other ridiculous questions. And in all honest truth many whites have admitted to us in secret how much they admire our skin and wish they had it. So why the public disrespect ?

Detergent Ad in which a Black Man Gets Pushed in a Washer
and Comes out a Lighter Skin

Dove is Consistant With Illustrating Dry/ Bad  as being Darker Shade
& Clean/Moist Skin=White

A Brief Peek into History Tells Us  That The History Of Racism Stinks 
( No one should be making anyone feel bad due to race or skin color) 

" In Medieval Europe members of the upper classes, on the other hand, rather than completely forgo bathing, tended to cut down their full body bathing habits down to around a few times per year, striking a balance between risk of acquiring a disease from the bath vs. body stench"
http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2011/05/why-bathing-was-uncommon-in-medievaleurope/

 The citizens of Williamsburg would have smelled pretty ripe, too. Even the dandified Tory would have struck modern nostrils as noticeably aromatic. It's safe to assume that we would have found the entire Old Dominion-in fact, all thirteen colonies-afflicted with B.O. And since everyone stank, no one noticed it or recorded it for history. Sensitive souls might bury their faces in nosegays or scented hankies when a long-unwashed regiment tramped past, but most of our forebears remained as blissfully unaware of their stench as we are of the growing foulness of our air.

Ablutions were skimpy in those days. A little dab here and there with a damp cloth would do you, even in the fashionable capital of Virginia. 

Edwards Park's article "The British in Williamsburg" appeared in the Autumn 1995 issue of this journal.

 "Most black hair does not produce its own oils... which is why they should not wash their hair as often and need proper moisturizers. white people on the other hand produce lots of oil which needs to be washed out often to keep it looking clean." - White Mother of a Biracial Daughter


"The Greeks were the first civilized Europeans who were primarily civilized by the Black Africans of the Nile Valley. The Greeks passed on this acquired culture to the Romans who ultimately lost it, thus initiating the dark ages that lasted for 500 years. Civilization was again restored to Europe when another group of Black Africans, The Moors, brought the Dark Ages to an end.  During the dark ages in Christian Europe, the Moors had built more than 300 public baths throughout its 21 suburbs, also introducing Spain to underwear and bathing with soap, at a time when taking a bath was thought to be a diabolical practice to be shunned by all good Christians, and cleanliness was regarded as a sin. Human waste was simply thrown into the streets because there were no bathrooms available."
-Norman McCleary, Internationl Historian

"For some lower class citizens, particularly men, this resulted in them largely forgoing bathing whenever possible.  During this time, people tended to restrict their hygienic arrangements to just washing hands, parts of the face, and rinsing their mouths. Washing one’s entire face was thought to be dangerous as it was believed to cause catarrh and weaken the eyesight, so even this was infrequent."


Hmmm.. well we are not going to give a conclusive analysis of the dove soap ad. But ahh I think I smell a rat.

Autumn Cravings by Rose Quartz

If you have a craving for something you should explore it, even if it is something huge, like a new way of living-  Rose Quartz

A temptation may not be a good thing  A temptation plays on weakness, bad timing, poor planning and lack of discipline. 

But a craving really seriously comes from within. As you think about what you are craving you do not need to rush out and get it. If you want a pizza that really satisfies, it might be worth flying to Chi-Town to get a real deep dish pizza. Yumm. Craving. Chase it. You won't find that  flavor  in the freezer section. Go where your craving takes you. Be specific.

Exploring a craving may lead you to plan the perfect rendezvous. It gives you time to think twice, about who and what is really worth your time.

How much do you want to enjoy and slowly savor what you are craving ?

Do you crave it as a sweet temporary pleasure or is your craving really a passion worth a permanent place in your life ?  Do you believe you are  ready to always have what you crave nearby ? Sometimes we don't trust ourselves with what we desire. Especially happiness. But if you stop thinking about it you will notice that happiness really likes your company.

The other day I caught myself craving pumkim stew. Something I never had before but the concept seemed right for a September night. I googled images and recipes and thought uhmm yes, that does look good. I never did get around to cooking it though. Today I craved tacos with jamaican jerk seasoned ground beef on corn tortillas with sharp cheddar, green onions, salsa.. and cilantro..it's cooking now. And from what I just sampled they are goin to be delicious.

Pumpkin Stew..maybe..some other time

We crave. Excitement. Peace of Mind. Chaos. Quiet. We want it all, at different times.  Obtaining it..it doesn't have to be physical. Sometimes it's just a feeling we associate with  the magic of the changing seasons. Sometimes it's taste we forgot about or a beach we have never been. Giving into a craving can be done without rush . Think about what you are craving. Talk about what you are craving.  Create a plan. Make things happen either in the physical or imaginal. 

For many it's the beginning of a long desert filled holiday season, but who really wants to put on an extra fifteen pounds if it will make you feel bad about yourself.  You may discover that cravings go beyond food and sex.   It is ok to crave feeling light and skip the giblet gravy, piles of mashed potatoes and pies. Unless that's what you really been craving. Then go ahead. 

 It's ok to be an adult who loves a snuggly teddy bear, a good cigar or whatever. Indulge.  Desire itself is an amazing manifest of the mind. Make choices you can really surrender to.. but only if that sounds good to you. 

Enjoy. Peace and  Blessings

Emily Imani Rose Quartz
Seattle Based Alternative Healing
Counselor, Consultant, Presenter, Workshop Leader
Author of An Environment For Ecstasy The Total
Cultural Guide To Getting and Giving Better Pleasure

Harmony Between The Sexes, His n' Hers Perspectives by Rose Quartz and Trai

-

How has the opposite sex helped you identify traits about yourself whether it be masculine, or feminine? Who had the influence that helped you identify these traits, and how they come about?

His Perspective by Trai

"Supreme harmony is the principal that holds what we call “the universe” in harmony. I would say balance, but balance is immovable and there is no life if nothing is moving" -Trai

A partner, relative, or friend, etc. has many aspects about themselves that make up who they are. Who they are, can help us identify characteristics about ourselves in countless ways. These characteristics may pertain to our opposite’s sides (e.g. masculine, and feminine traits).

These traits are our logical, and feeling aspects, as well as how we notice these traits in others. It does not necessarily have to be someone close, or someone you know. When you notice a certain attribute about someone it has an appeal to the observer. It can be their speech, posture, sensitivity. 

As a man I can say alot of  my traits that I gained in my younger days, are from my mother. As far as being more emotionally reactive to situations instead of balancing it out with it a more logical approach. 

Or is it something else that’s unnoticed?

Well, after much  needed quality time with my partner, it made sense to me that while being together with her,  I felt more in place. In other words I felt more like I was adjusting to my role as a male. Without feeling like I had to be my own emotional support system as well as being my logically guided support system, plus other factors all in one. 

I was able to allow myself to let my partner be the woman for me, instead of me being the woman for me, and vice versa.

Letting your partner take back that character in either category of masculine or feminine, can place them “in their power” where they work their suitable placement by default. In summary, letting your partner be the man or woman they are supposed to be can free you from feeling like you have to play the identity of both.

Her Perspective by RoseQuartz

In many ways I am a very feminine woman. But on a day to day basis, I tend to rely more on my so called "masculine" traits.  Problem solving and getting to the point of things is important. As mother parenting by myself, I have do more than  the feminine role of nurturing or I think my household will fall apart.  Of course I feel more feminine in my free time, but it doesn't compare to what happens when near to a man.

 For some reason being around a man awakens my feminine mystique. Meaning I even become mysterious to myself. Which in itself is a form of vulnerability. I suddenly realize my body is a lush and sexy, even if my abs are not a six pack. I notice that parts of my body and mind are incredibly attractive to a man, simply because I have curves, both mental and physical where he has none.

When I am around the opposite sex and I'm not comfortable, my first instinct is to hide my femininity and shift into a more masculine posture.  

But if I'm with a man such as my partner, who I feel safe with, I can let my feminine nature breathe. It's a relief to me.  My femininity is both soft and strong. It's not passive. It can be aggressive. It's an  ever changing mix of tender and fierce. Something a man will see as worthy of submitting to,  even as enjoys his dominance.  

The True Emergence of Self, merging with The One
Whose Dominant Traits are the Opposite of Mine

I begin to witness masculine traits as they appear in a man, not just as an abstract concept within myself. 

I enjoy letting him use his energy,  his "cocky" walk, and his aloof facial expressions to lead our way thru crowds. Because he has no desire to meet the needs of random people on the street, he creates a protective barrier around us.  

 Some women will say this is old fashioned. I disagree. I know my strength and power. Part of my power is allowing  my "strength"to shift away from certain things and into experiencing myself without shame or worry. Being so natural  like the pungent scent of an rose in full bloom on a humid afternoon. There is a freedom in not needing assert my masculine energy, especially because my feminine side is so often suppressed. And almost always oppressed.

Once I let go of the fairy tales it became clear to me that feminine traits have nothing to do with weakness just as masculine traits do not determine strength. The difference between masculine and feminine traits is mostly in how we process things and  how we respond emotionally and expressively. These opposite traits were never meant to compete or clash with each other but to create a completeness.

Final Thoughts:

 The opposite sex reveals to me what I am not, and thru that I begin to fall deeper in love with what I am.  Modern society suggest  men are acting out of their feminine side more and more due to lack of male role models. Our young men pick up their single moms ways of  dealing with stuff, which  denies them a chance to tap into their dormant dominant traits. Similarly girls & women are acting out more of their masculine traits in their struggles for survival with no man around. The end result is that  many of us bring too much of the same dish to the table when it comes to our romantic relationships. Sort of like a poorly planned potluck.

Healing Moments

Taking the time to recognize and relish how the opposite sex helps you identify your masculine and/or feminine traits is great way to fall back into your natural self while providing balance.

 relief and healing to your partner.

What's a Relationship Without Fetish: A His n' Her Perspectives Blog

* We should point out right away that the term fetish has many meanings ranging from a non living object, to emotional dynamics. It's my personal feelings that a relationship in which fetishes aren't explored are really boring. Not the whole relationship but definitely the sex and the overall bonding. I think you will feel more like you are with a best friend when you can talk to your partner about some of your fetishes. You are really on the right track if your partner has the same fetishes as you or at  least one.  From there you might start to get into new things as your curiosity about what turns them on begins to grow.

His  Perspective by Trai 

Sexual fetishes.. A fetish overall, is a desire for pleasure in a unique or abnormal way – at least that’s what I thought just from hearing the term used so much. Then to discover it’s an interchangeable term. But now I realize a fetish is an obsession. Whether its clothes, body parts, or any other inanimate object, it is very abnormally normal. My first fetish I became aware of was a foot fetish, which is common for most men. However, there are also men who find feet quite disgusting, and people with a foot fetish would be able to write novels just on feet. My fetish began at a very young age. It started as a brief fascination that became sexual in nature. Those types of fetishes, like most, will make you feel weird in some way. But they are not weird… okay they’re weird but it’s very normal! I gave into my foot fetish around the time of hitting puberty. Body changes, and raging hormones make you look at everything in a different view. Fetishes are so normal that everybody has one, two, or a few. But they are also abnormal in someone else’s shoes. Fetishes can be discussed with your close friends, and/or relatives, but most importantly your partner. I say your partner because they can help you fulfill that desire whatever it may be: Foot fetish, BDSM, Dress up, Role-play, etc. Do you have a fetish? What fantasy do you play in your head a lot? What turns you on that may seem strange if blurted out?

Communicating your fetish to your partner is like trying to tell a baby about their conception. Or it can be like riding a bike with/ and without training wheels. Perhaps your fetish is BDSM - you and your current partner never tried it, how would you ever bring it up? 

Well the communication between the two is what will help unfold the note written on the paper. Actually that’s good idea, pass him or her a note- Now when the conversation starts just be honest and say e.g. “Have you ever tried ___”? “How would you like it if I ___? Etc. So many ways to bring up the topic, or you can ask them if it’s something you both can try.

 No matter how wild it gets. Being able to communicate about the desires we have is not only going to step up the communication in the bedroom, kitchen, or where ever your fetish takes you – but it will also help you grow closer and be more comfortable and trust worthy of your relationship, and also your kinks.

 Not being able to be free to explore your desires and interest can and will cause an unresolved conflict with you, and your current or future relationships. Not being satisfied with your partner can lead to cheating, or looking for somebody who accepts your kink nature (whatever it may be). And who knows you may find out your partner always wanted to try something but never knew how to introduce it . They may be open minded enough try a kink and it  may become a fetish of theirs.

Her Perspective by Emily 

A fetish breaks the barriers as to what is sexual. When you think about it ..it's really sensual and amazing to experience things like this. I have a sock and tights fetish but I also have another fetish that is so big I stopped having relationships for two years because I could not find a partner who was able to share in it with me. Certain kinks don't make sense to yourself until you find a partner that can bring it life. Like alot of good things they are even better when shared with a loved one. Even if your partner cannot participate they should enjoy knowing all about your kinky side and do things that acknowledge it. If they want to see you happy and turned on they will not  or forget about your fetish.

My fetish..? I think about it alot and while I rather experience than talk about it, I find that forums and websites dedicated to it  are usually where I end up when i'm feeling a need to connect with others who understand. I feel alot better when I'm around people who really get my fetish and don't see it as a psychological problem.  A fetish is  psychological. But for me it's not a problem.

Most people have various turn on's and preferences which can be called a fetish.  I notice quite a few sources suggest fetishes are strange and rare.  Maybe it is even more strange to view vanilla sex as enough. More often than not people complain about plain sex . A person with a fetish always looks forward to their sexual experiences even planning ahead and buying props and outfits.

Our deepest fetishes,  don't stem from sexual experiences. They  started a long time ago within our emotional, visual and textural impressions, with feelings we had before we became  conscious of ourselves as being sexual. Our deep fetishes are bound to non-sexual and totally normal childhood needs we had to be soothed, distracted, nurtured,  and cared for. 

For whatever reason some of us find that certain objects, body parts, textures,  emotional scenarios, and sensations  are  prominent in our adult  sexual cravings.

 An ideal situation is when both you and your partner have fetishes that somewhat work together.

Sure people get bored with their partner sometimes but if you take a closer look it's not really sexual boredom that is the root of the problem. And if it was, perhaps it would be a wise investment to really make the most of your sex life with them, by seeing if you or your partner have any hidden fetishes or desires  to explore.  Not all fetishes  require actual sex. Because a persons fetish means so much to them they will really appreciate your willingness to have fun with it and take it seriously.

Let's do something different today Honey

Can Kink Rescue Your Relationship ?

To be honest if you are close enough with your lover to have shared your fetishes, chances are you will work harder to stay together.

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*  Sexual Deviancy such as pedophilia and rape are not fetishes, they are criminal offenses.

Fetishes can be a little weird that they dont harm anyone..

 Some fetishes may seem too strange to mention but may just be the icing on the cake.

Peace and Blessings
Rose Quartz

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