What's a Relationship Without Fetish: A His n' Her Perspectives Blog

* We should point out right away that the term fetish has many meanings ranging from a non living object, to emotional dynamics. It's my personal feelings that a relationship in which fetishes aren't explored are really boring. Not the whole relationship but definitely the sex and the overall bonding. I think you will feel more like you are with a best friend when you can talk to your partner about some of your fetishes. You are really on the right track if your partner has the same fetishes as you or at  least one.  From there you might start to get into new things as your curiosity about what turns them on begins to grow.

His  Perspective by Trai 

Sexual fetishes.. A fetish overall, is a desire for pleasure in a unique or abnormal way – at least that’s what I thought just from hearing the term used so much. Then to discover it’s an interchangeable term. But now I realize a fetish is an obsession. Whether its clothes, body parts, or any other inanimate object, it is very abnormally normal. My first fetish I became aware of was a foot fetish, which is common for most men. However, there are also men who find feet quite disgusting, and people with a foot fetish would be able to write novels just on feet. My fetish began at a very young age. It started as a brief fascination that became sexual in nature. Those types of fetishes, like most, will make you feel weird in some way. But they are not weird… okay they’re weird but it’s very normal! I gave into my foot fetish around the time of hitting puberty. Body changes, and raging hormones make you look at everything in a different view. Fetishes are so normal that everybody has one, two, or a few. But they are also abnormal in someone else’s shoes. Fetishes can be discussed with your close friends, and/or relatives, but most importantly your partner. I say your partner because they can help you fulfill that desire whatever it may be: Foot fetish, BDSM, Dress up, Role-play, etc. Do you have a fetish? What fantasy do you play in your head a lot? What turns you on that may seem strange if blurted out?

Communicating your fetish to your partner is like trying to tell a baby about their conception. Or it can be like riding a bike with/ and without training wheels. Perhaps your fetish is BDSM - you and your current partner never tried it, how would you ever bring it up? 

Well the communication between the two is what will help unfold the note written on the paper. Actually that’s good idea, pass him or her a note- Now when the conversation starts just be honest and say e.g. “Have you ever tried ___”? “How would you like it if I ___? Etc. So many ways to bring up the topic, or you can ask them if it’s something you both can try.

 No matter how wild it gets. Being able to communicate about the desires we have is not only going to step up the communication in the bedroom, kitchen, or where ever your fetish takes you – but it will also help you grow closer and be more comfortable and trust worthy of your relationship, and also your kinks.

 Not being able to be free to explore your desires and interest can and will cause an unresolved conflict with you, and your current or future relationships. Not being satisfied with your partner can lead to cheating, or looking for somebody who accepts your kink nature (whatever it may be). And who knows you may find out your partner always wanted to try something but never knew how to introduce it . They may be open minded enough try a kink and it  may become a fetish of theirs.

Her Perspective by Emily 

A fetish breaks the barriers as to what is sexual. When you think about it ..it's really sensual and amazing to experience things like this. I have a sock and tights fetish but I also have another fetish that is so big I stopped having relationships for two years because I could not find a partner who was able to share in it with me. Certain kinks don't make sense to yourself until you find a partner that can bring it life. Like alot of good things they are even better when shared with a loved one. Even if your partner cannot participate they should enjoy knowing all about your kinky side and do things that acknowledge it. If they want to see you happy and turned on they will not  or forget about your fetish.

My fetish..? I think about it alot and while I rather experience than talk about it, I find that forums and websites dedicated to it  are usually where I end up when i'm feeling a need to connect with others who understand. I feel alot better when I'm around people who really get my fetish and don't see it as a psychological problem.  A fetish is  psychological. But for me it's not a problem.

Most people have various turn on's and preferences which can be called a fetish.  I notice quite a few sources suggest fetishes are strange and rare.  Maybe it is even more strange to view vanilla sex as enough. More often than not people complain about plain sex . A person with a fetish always looks forward to their sexual experiences even planning ahead and buying props and outfits.

Our deepest fetishes,  don't stem from sexual experiences. They  started a long time ago within our emotional, visual and textural impressions, with feelings we had before we became  conscious of ourselves as being sexual. Our deep fetishes are bound to non-sexual and totally normal childhood needs we had to be soothed, distracted, nurtured,  and cared for. 

For whatever reason some of us find that certain objects, body parts, textures,  emotional scenarios, and sensations  are  prominent in our adult  sexual cravings.

 An ideal situation is when both you and your partner have fetishes that somewhat work together.

Sure people get bored with their partner sometimes but if you take a closer look it's not really sexual boredom that is the root of the problem. And if it was, perhaps it would be a wise investment to really make the most of your sex life with them, by seeing if you or your partner have any hidden fetishes or desires  to explore.  Not all fetishes  require actual sex. Because a persons fetish means so much to them they will really appreciate your willingness to have fun with it and take it seriously.

Let's do something different today Honey

Can Kink Rescue Your Relationship ?

To be honest if you are close enough with your lover to have shared your fetishes, chances are you will work harder to stay together.

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*  Sexual Deviancy such as pedophilia and rape are not fetishes, they are criminal offenses.

Fetishes can be a little weird that they dont harm anyone..

 Some fetishes may seem too strange to mention but may just be the icing on the cake.

Peace and Blessings
Rose Quartz

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