Thursday, September 28, 2017

Harmony Between The Sexes, His n' Hers Perspectives by Rose Quartz and Trai

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How has the opposite sex helped you identify traits about yourself whether it be masculine, or feminine? Who had the influence that helped you identify these traits, and how they come about?



His Perspective by Trai

"Supreme harmony is the principal that holds what we call “the universe” in harmony. I would say balance, but balance is immovable and there is no life if nothing is moving" -Trai

A partner, relative, or friend, etc. has many aspects about themselves that make up who they are. Who they are, can help us identify characteristics about ourselves in countless ways. These characteristics may pertain to our opposite’s sides (e.g. masculine, and feminine traits).
These traits are our logical, and feeling aspects, as well as how we notice these traits in others. It does not necessarily have to be someone close, or someone you know. When you notice a certain attribute about someone it has an appeal to the observer. It can be their speech, posture, sensitivity. 
As a man I can say alot of  my traits that I gained in my younger days, are from my mother. As far as being more emotionally reactive to situations instead of balancing it out with it a more logical approach. 


Or is it something else that’s unnoticed?

Well, after much  needed quality time with my partner, it made sense to me that while being together with her,  I felt more in place. In other words I felt more like I was adjusting to my role as a male. Without feeling like I had to be my own emotional support system as well as being my logically guided support system, plus other factors all in one. 

I was able to allow myself to let my partner be the woman for me, instead of me being the woman for me, and vice versa.

Letting your partner take back that character in either category of masculine or feminine, can place them “in their power” where they work their suitable placement by default. In summary, letting your partner be the man or woman they are supposed to be can free you from feeling like you have to play the identity of both.


Her Perspective by RoseQuartz

In many ways I am a very feminine woman. But on a day to day basis, I tend to rely more on my so called "masculine" traits.  Problem solving and getting to the point of things is important. As mother parenting by myself, I have do more than  the feminine role of nurturing or I think my household will fall apart.  Of course I feel more feminine in my free time, but it doesn't compare to what happens when near to a man.



 For some reason being around a man awakens my feminine mystique. Meaning I even become mysterious to myself. Which in itself is a form of vulnerability. I suddenly realize my body is a lush and sexy, even if my abs are not a six pack. I notice that parts of my body and mind are incredibly attractive to a man, simply because I have curves, both mental and physical where he has none.

When I am around the opposite sex and I'm not comfortable, my first instinct is to hide my femininity and shift into a more masculine posture.  

But if I'm with a man such as my partner, who I feel safe with, I can let my feminine nature breathe. It's a relief to me.  My femininity is both soft and strong. It's not passive. It can be aggressive. It's an  ever changing mix of tender and fierce. Something a man will see as worthy of submitting to,  even as enjoys his dominance.  
The True Emergence of Self, merging with The One
Whose Dominant Traits are the Opposite of Mine

I begin to witness masculine traits as they appear in a man, not just as an abstract concept within myself. 
I enjoy letting him use his energy,  his "cocky" walk, and his aloof facial expressions to lead our way thru crowds. Because he has no desire to meet the needs of random people on the street, he creates a protective barrier around us.  
 Some women will say this is old fashioned. I disagree. I know my strength and power. Part of my power is allowing  my "strength"to shift away from certain things and into experiencing myself without shame or worry. Being so natural  like the pungent scent of an rose in full bloom on a humid afternoon. There is a freedom in not needing assert my masculine energy, especially because my feminine side is so often suppressed. And almost always oppressed.

Once I let go of the fairy tales it became clear to me that feminine traits have nothing to do with weakness just as masculine traits do not determine strength. The difference between masculine and feminine traits is mostly in how we process things and  how we respond emotionally and expressively. These opposite traits were never meant to compete or clash with each other but to create a completeness.

Final Thoughts:
 The opposite sex reveals to me what I am not, and thru that I begin to fall deeper in love with what I am.  Modern society suggest  men are acting out of their feminine side more and more due to lack of male role models. Our young men pick up their single moms ways of  dealing with stuff, which  denies them a chance to tap into their dormant dominant traits. Similarly girls & women are acting out more of their masculine traits in their struggles for survival with no man around. The end result is that  many of us bring too much of the same dish to the table when it comes to our romantic relationships. Sort of like a poorly planned potluck.

Healing Moments
Taking the time to recognize and relish how the opposite sex helps you identify your masculine and/or feminine traits is great way to fall back into your natural self while providing balance.
 relief and healing to your partner.









Friday, September 8, 2017

What's a Relationship Without Fetish: A His n' Her Perspectives Blog

* We should point out right away that the term fetish has many meanings ranging from a non living object, to emotional dynamics. It's my personal feelings that a relationship in which fetishes aren't explored are really boring. Not the whole relationship but definitely the sex and the overall bonding. I think you will feel more like you are with a best friend when you can talk to your partner about some of your fetishes. You are really on the right track if your partner has the same fetishes as you or at  least one.  From there you might start to get into new things as your curiosity about what turns them on begins to grow.



His  Perspective by Trai 
Sexual fetishes.. A fetish overall, is a desire for pleasure in a unique or abnormal way – at least that’s what I thought just from hearing the term used so much. Then to discover it’s an interchangeable term. But now I realize a fetish is an obsession. Whether its clothes, body parts, or any other inanimate object, it is very abnormally normal. My first fetish I became aware of was a foot fetish, which is common for most men. However, there are also men who find feet quite disgusting, and people with a foot fetish would be able to write novels just on feet. My fetish began at a very young age. It started as a brief fascination that became sexual in nature. Those types of fetishes, like most, will make you feel weird in some way. But they are not weird… okay they’re weird but it’s very normal! I gave into my foot fetish around the time of hitting puberty. Body changes, and raging hormones make you look at everything in a different view. Fetishes are so normal that everybody has one, two, or a few. But they are also abnormal in someone else’s shoes. Fetishes can be discussed with your close friends, and/or relatives, but most importantly your partner. I say your partner because they can help you fulfill that desire whatever it may be: Foot fetish, BDSM, Dress up, Role-play, etc. Do you have a fetish? What fantasy do you play in your head a lot? What turns you on that may seem strange if blurted out?

Communicating your fetish to your partner is like trying to tell a baby about their conception. Or it can be like riding a bike with/ and without training wheels. Perhaps your fetish is BDSM - you and your current partner never tried it, how would you ever bring it up? 

Well the communication between the two is what will help unfold the note written on the paper. Actually that’s good idea, pass him or her a note- Now when the conversation starts just be honest and say e.g. “Have you ever tried ___”? “How would you like it if I ___? Etc. So many ways to bring up the topic, or you can ask them if it’s something you both can try.

 No matter how wild it gets. Being able to communicate about the desires we have is not only going to step up the communication in the bedroom, kitchen, or where ever your fetish takes you – but it will also help you grow closer and be more comfortable and trust worthy of your relationship, and also your kinks.

 Not being able to be free to explore your desires and interest can and will cause an unresolved conflict with you, and your current or future relationships. Not being satisfied with your partner can lead to cheating, or looking for somebody who accepts your kink nature (whatever it may be). And who knows you may find out your partner always wanted to try something but never knew how to introduce it . They may be open minded enough try a kink and it  may become a fetish of theirs.



Her Perspective by Emily 
A fetish breaks the barriers as to what is sexual. When you think about it ..it's really sensual and amazing to experience things like this. I have a sock and tights fetish but I also have another fetish that is so big I stopped having relationships for two years because I could not find a partner who was able to share in it with me. Certain kinks don't make sense to yourself until you find a partner that can bring it life. Like alot of good things they are even better when shared with a loved one. Even if your partner cannot participate they should enjoy knowing all about your kinky side and do things that acknowledge it. If they want to see you happy and turned on they will not  or forget about your fetish.




My fetish..? I think about it alot and while I rather experience than talk about it, I find that forums and websites dedicated to it  are usually where I end up when i'm feeling a need to connect with others who understand. I feel alot better when I'm around people who really get my fetish and don't see it as a psychological problem.  A fetish is  psychological. But for me it's not a problem.

Most people have various turn on's and preferences which can be called a fetish.  I notice quite a few sources suggest fetishes are strange and rare.  Maybe it is even more strange to view vanilla sex as enough. More often than not people complain about plain sex . A person with a fetish always looks forward to their sexual experiences even planning ahead and buying props and outfits.





Our deepest fetishes,  don't stem from sexual experiences. They  started a long time ago within our emotional, visual and textural impressions, with feelings we had before we became  conscious of ourselves as being sexual. Our deep fetishes are bound to non-sexual and totally normal childhood needs we had to be soothed, distracted, nurtured,  and cared for. 

For whatever reason some of us find that certain objects, body parts, textures,  emotional scenarios, and sensations  are  prominent in our adult  sexual cravings.

 An ideal situation is when both you and your partner have fetishes that somewhat work together.




Sure people get bored with their partner sometimes but if you take a closer look it's not really sexual boredom that is the root of the problem. And if it was, perhaps it would be a wise investment to really make the most of your sex life with them, by seeing if you or your partner have any hidden fetishes or desires  to explore.  Not all fetishes  require actual sex. Because a persons fetish means so much to them they will really appreciate your willingness to have fun with it and take it seriously.


Let's do something different today Honey


Can Kink Rescue Your Relationship ?


To be honest if you are close enough with your lover to have shared your fetishes, chances are you will work harder to stay together.


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*  Sexual Deviancy such as pedophilia and rape are not fetishes, they are criminal offenses.

Fetishes can be a little weird that they dont harm anyone..



 Some fetishes may seem too strange to mention but may just be the icing on the cake.



Peace and Blessings
Rose Quartz

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