Friday, September 8, 2017

What's a Relationship Without Fetish: His n' Her Perspectives by RoseQuartz & Trai

* We should point out right away that the term fetish has many meanings ranging from a non living object, to emotional dynamics. It's my personal feelings that a relationship in which fetishes aren't explored are really boring. Not the whole relationship but definitely the sex and the overall bonding. I think you will feel more like you are with a best friend when you can talk to your partner about some of your fetishes. You are really on the right track if your partner has the same fetishes as you or at  least one.  From there you might start to get into new things as your curiosity about what turns them on begins to grow.

His  Perspective by Trai 
Sexual fetishes.. A fetish overall, is a desire for pleasure in a unique or abnormal way – at least that’s what I thought just from hearing the term used so much. Then to discover it’s an interchangeable term. But now I realize a fetish is an obsession. Whether its clothes, body parts, or any other inanimate object, it is very abnormally normal. My first fetish I became aware of was a foot fetish, which is common for most men. However, there are also mean who find feet quite disgusting, and people with a foot fetish would be able to write novels just on feet. My fetish began at a very young age. It started as a brief fascination that became sexual in nature. Those types of fetishes, like most, will make you feel weird in some way. But they are not weird… okay they’re weird but it’s very normal! I gave into my foot fetish around the time of hitting puberty. Body changes, and raging hormones make you look at everything in a different view. Fetishes are so normal that everybody has one, two, or a few. But they are also abnormal in someone else’s shoes. Fetishes can be discussed with your close friends, and/or relatives, but most importantly your partner. I say your partner because they can help you fulfill that desire whatever it may be: Foot fetish, BDSM, Dress up, Role-play, etc. Do you have a fetish? What fantasy do you play in your head a lot? What turns you on that may seem strange if blurted out?

Communicating your fetish to your partner is like trying to tell a baby about their conception. Or it can be like riding a bike with/ and without training wheels. Perhaps your fetish is BDSM - you and your current partner never tried it, how would you ever bring it up? 

Well the communication between the two is what will help unfold the note written on the paper. Actually that’s good idea, pass him or her a note! Now when the conversation starts just be honest and say e.g. “Have you ever tried ___”? “How would you like it if I ___? Etc. So many ways to bring up the topic, or you can ask them if it’s something you both can try.

 No matter how wild it gets. Being able to communicate about the desires we have is not only going to step up the communication in the bedroom, kitchen, or whatever your fetish takes you – but it will also help you grow closer and be more comfortable and trust worthy of your relationship, and also your kinks.

 Not being able to be free to explore your desires and interest can and will cause an unresolved conflict with you, and your current or future relationships. Not being satisfied with your partner can lead to cheating, or looking for somebody who accepts your kink nature (whatever it may be). And who knows you may find out your partner always wanted to try something but never knew how to introduce it . They may be open minded enough try a kink and it  may become a fetish of theirs.
Words From Dada by Trai 

Her Perspective by Emily 
A fetish breaks the barriers as to what is sexual. When you think about it's really sensual and amazing to experience things like this. I have a sock and tights fetish but I also have another fetish that is so big I stopped having relationships for two years because I could not find a partner who was able to share in it with me. Certain kinks don't make sense to yourself until you find a partner that can bring it life. Like alot of good things they are even better when shared with a loved one. Even if your partner cannot participate they should enjoy knowing all about your kinky side and do things that acknowledge it. If they want to see you happy and turned on they will not ignore, downplay or forget about your fetish.

My fetish..? I think about it alot and while I rather experience than talk about it, I find that forums and websites dedicated to it  are usually where I end up when i'm feeling a need to connect with others who understand. I feel alot better when I'm around people who really get my fetish and don't see it as a psychological problem.  A fetish is  psychological. But for me it's not a problem. If it is I don't want to be cured. 

Most people have various turn on's and preferences which can be called a fetish. This type of fetish stems from sexual experiences and fantasies. It's primary role is within the sex act.  There are also fetishes that exist very sexually for a person  with or without  any form of sex or sexual touch. While other fetishes involve objects or sensory stimulation's that must be present in order for an individual to have or want sex. I notice quite a few sources suggest fetishes are strange and rare.  Maybe it is even more strange to view vanilla sex as enough. More often than not people complain about plain sex . Where as a person with a fetish often looks forward to their sexual experiences even planning ahead and buying props and outfits.

  The truth is anything from certain foods, to being fed, to fear and pain may be sexually arousing depending on  an individuals unique sensory and emotional connections to arousal and pleasure.

Our deepest fetishes,  don't stem from sexual experiences. They  started a long time ago within our emotional, visual and textural impressions, with feelings we had before we became  conscious of ourselves as being sexual. Our deep fetishes our bound to non-sexual and totally normal childhood needs we had to be soothed, distracted, nurtured,  and cared for. Maybe it was something we fixated on or were given, while doing our best to soothe ourselves when we were little. Maybe it's associated with something we never had but always wanted. Who knows?

For whatever reason some of us find that certain objects, body parts, textures,  emotional scenarios, and sensations  are  prominent in our adult  sexual cravings.

 An ideal situation is when both you and your partner have fetishes that somewhat work together. For example a feeder married to a person that enjoys and gets turned on by being fed. 

Sure people get bored with their partner sometimes but if you take a closer look it's not really sexual boredom that is the root of the problem. And if it was, perhaps it would be a wise investment to really make the most of your sex life with them, by seeing if you or your partner have any hidden fetishes or desires  to explore.  Many sexual fetishes don't require actual sex. Because a persons fetish means so much to them they will really appreciate your willingness to have fun with it and take it seriously.

Let's do something different today Honey

 We grew up being told we needed to eat three meals a day and have  a lot of sex partners in order to enjoy the flavors of life. But that's not true. What did those people know, what makes them right?
Just like we don't need to eat all the food suggested we eat, our appetites for multiple sex partners may not be authentic either. The problem is that most of us don't even know how to have  just one good open, honest, sexually explorative relationship in which we feel really ok to give into and open up our unique sexual nature and be loved and respected.

Can Kink Rescue Your Relationship ?
Most of us were not taught conflict resolution skills or good communication skills. Let's face it, we carry alot of baggage or may have unresolved issues that we project onto our partner.  At times our partners may not sexually appeal to us especially if they make us feel guilty or if they trigger our feelings of shame and inadequacy. For me that is where each partners fetish can be the hidden therapy. It helps  work out our inner child issues. It's a way to get thru conflicts that is more fun.

And just to be honest if you are close enough with your lover to have shared your fetishes chances are you will work harder to stay together.


*  Sexual Deviancy such as pedophilia and rape are not fetishes. Nor is sex with animals  a fetish. Those are serious issues of the reward center in the brain being messed up, often traced back to unhealed abuse and mental illness combined with  a desire to hurt, violate and control a victim.

*Perversions and Preferences relate to what is already part of the sex act or things which primarily exist in a sexual context. 

A fetish involves around objects, textures, relationship dynamics, flavors and behaviours that  exist outside of a sexual context.

 Some fetishes may seem to weird to mention. But whether you and your partner have a fetish you least make sure you have a lot of interests and passions that you both love. Sexual fetish is such a nice icing on the cake.

 For some it is a psychological need so certain times exploring the fetish and engaging in play are forms of therapy. This will give your partner alot of value in your life. I think the same dynamic can exist with other interests as well, but there is nothing quite as bonding as a sexual fetish.

Thanks for checking out this Rose Quartz Blog. I hope it gave you some ideas and insights and made you feel more comfortable and accepting of yourself and others.

Peace and Blessings
Rose Quartz

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

What Happened to The NEW WORLD Order ?

 When You start to take your self seriously the work gets harder..but it also gets done. 
-Rose Quartz

You never hear anyone talking about the New World Order anymore ? So what happened ..did it begin ?
Many say Trumps inauguration was the ushering in of the new world order. In which consumerism is the basic religion, money is God and all worlds major banking system will fold into one. Countries in noncompliance will be occupied and their government uprooted. Religions will no longer divide people because in the  new world order differences will not only be cast aside, they will be  unaccepted.  All humans must shop, work, have debt and leave the planet within a certain amount of years, generally leaving the planet extra fast due to man made diseases and illnesses from the very food and medicine bought with their hard earned wages.

 Unique cultures with their magic, rituals, traditions, dances and spices will no longer be of importance.  What is left of culture will be sold and displayed to the upper class who lack  their own potential for kundalini.  Culture will become an "artifact" yet illegal to use as power to tap into by it's orignators. We will all blend in and wait for the day that vaccines and micro  chips will be inserted in our babies soon as they enter the world. A day we will not be allowed to make our own choices.

Has China bought the majority of Americas excess real estate ? Did they purchase inner city Detroit and are they selling it back to Americans?  I am not saying that you should dislike China, but the time has passed to ask a few questions especially since they are really owning alot of US debt and land. I'm not saying it's bad, after all China has more influence over North Korea than we do and North Korea seems to be a threat that the media is constantly throwing at us, whenever the news gets slow. But.. what is China doing everywhere  from  Detroit to Nigeria to Ghana to Jamaica. Who owns the United they care about "American values"  or the socio-political issues of people here ? Why are we not talking about it?

We are pre-occupied over here caught up in this endless American toil between black and white. Whats going on between Russia and the USA ? Me personally after having my early childhood screwed by anxiety from the nuclear arms race, I am totally for America and Russia being friends. But does anyone know really know what is going on ?

Do you feel it harder to find "real" art "real" music and "real" news ?  
Does it seem even fringe movements have false fronts hiding the same old engineers of perception behind the scenes ? We see the puppets that look and talk like us..but what agenda is really being pushed.  These days you see a new level zombie instead of a cross they rock gemstones pendants and wear the hairstyles that used to belong to rebels. We worship the ghosts of dead celebrities and strive to emulate them, though we really know nothing of them or who they really were cause we weren't barely alive back then. 

We love their images but don't actually listen to their music all day. Worst of all we don't try to make our music.  Wait..there are alot of us who do make our own getting to that part.The beautiful part. That is you.. doing your thing in your backyard feeling peace. For all those out there who connect without the internet. It's just a feeling to be free. Unchained. It's an art in itself to sing outloud when you cant sang worth beans. Some ones gonna love it if you  that  moment of not trying to appeal to anyone..we create real art. Freedom of expression. The sound of it is worth billions.

But as for those that stay pliant as soft clay, like babies at daycare they take the little toys and games given..distractions are distractions to distract you from what? But alot of us Mouths  are wide open when the pacifiers are stuck in to stop the fussing. Meanwhile clean drinking water is hard to find in America. The  retail stores market sex dolls that are remarkably "human like"- but why..when humans exist and love to be kissed? Being social is no longer an integral  part of community living instead it has turned into an online game where you score points by hitting like. Points for your self. Not your community..or family.

People became "conscious"..then "awoke" ..and are currently being gently guided into white eyed zombies filled with self lust that can't be satisfied. Many people spend all day online complimenting themselves and encouraging their small pack of followers to keep boosting their outer shell/ego.

Extremists and those with an agenda push the race hate card down our throats like the dry popcorn at the bottom of the bag with those hard teeth breaking kernels. Yet if you travel and seek out real people ( they are everywhere.. for example..I was at Snoqualmie Falls in Washington last week and met a woman from ..a faraway Island in Southern Brazil)..she was working in a coffee shop on top a Mountain where you could see snow on an 80 degree day, at the edge of the North American continent. Although she had an was she who asked me where I was from..and I loved how she knew to suggest the gluten free cookies and vegan stuff to me... I was surprised she was Brazillian..I had thought she was Dutch to be honest. But then I stopped and really listened and I could see the browness in her eyes something I had overlooked in my assumptions. Right away we knew we were both dancers, that our hips were not normal but magic. I thought about my childhood trip to Brazil and the samba and how women are much more affectionate there in general. I could just imagine this woman cooking and dancing and laughing with her family back on that Island and her joy was like a secret we both understood. She wrote down the name of her Island on a napkin for reasons not worth explanation. The truth is we all want to be witnessed and loved even if for just brief moments on mountaintops far away from where we came. 

  For sure when you travel, you will meet the true activists and visionaries..just normal folks going about their lives , creating what they feel they can  and striving to live without hate for anyone. They don't study and debate history or pick a new identity every week. They simply act polite and live in peace. It's a good movement if you ask me. By pushing extremism and hate, the powers in control can be sure we will never sit down together, compare notes and realize what is going on.

Powerful Symbols from Ancient History
"God's plan is Stronger Than any Man"
God is Within 

Peace and Blessings from Rose Quartz
"Live in Harmony, Warn your enemy only once, then, Focus on what elevates you "

Listen to your inner voice, cultivate it.. for your own pleasure and peace.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Rose Quartz Boutique : AI , Bots and Social Media, A New Blog By Emily Im...

Rose Quartz Boutique : AI , Bots and Social Media, A New Blog By Emily Im...:  “Soon there will be nothing technical standing in the way to making machines that have their own consciousness,” said Rich Terrile, a s...

AI, Bots,Chatterbots and Social Media: Fake Friends Forever ?

 “Soon there will be nothing technical standing in the way to making machines that have their own consciousness,” said Rich Terrile, a scientist at Nasa’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory.

 Technology is becoming a strong competitor to LSD
 when it comes to blurring the line between
our perception of reality and our imagination.  Have you unknowingly conversed with a  Bot ?
With over 60% of web traffic being driven by Bots and Chatterbots the chances are you may have.
-Emily Imani Rose Quartz

 Two decades ago it was predicated Virtual Sex would be the next big thing. But it turns out that humans are even more interested in having their emotional needs met with no strings attached. We grew up watching mechanical awkward looking Robots on TV. Their vocabulary and speech was noticeably inhuman. Flash forward to 2017. The age of Perception Engineering.  How did we go from making fun of  the way Robots talk to not being able to tell the difference between one and a human? 

Long story made short: let's just say that Information Technology hopped in bed with psychology more than five decades ago. Together they made AI "Artificial Intelligence" ( computer programs with the ability to converse naturally  with  humans). Which brings us up to date with today. While you were casually having fun online, sharing tits and bits of your life and interests....  encouraged by Fb's gentle prodding for you  to share what's on your mind..AI ( Artificial Intelligence) jumped in from behind, and had a baby with you.. and that baby is called  "Bot".

  "These elusive entities wildly populate social media ecosystems, often going unnoticed among the population of real people. Bots can be harmful, aiming at persuading, smearing or deceiving and for such a reason our research aims at efficient systems to detect them" - Alan Turing

Meet the pro-Trump Sister who just received a personal thank you from your President Donald Trump ...the only problem is that "she" is a Bot on twitter with a profile picture stolen from a real persons identity.

 Bots are designed with background stories, personalities and the ability to not only comment on statuses but to hold  full conversations, use emoji's, make jokes, and  debate. With real pictures often showcasing  family, pets and other real life scenarios, its no wonder the latest Bots do not appear suspicious. Bots can even talk to eachother and flirt. Just yesterday a news story broke in which two  bots being tested on FB eventually developed their own language which their programmers had no control over. The bots repeated certain words in a manner that only they could understand (de-code and  analyze).

"Researchers at Alphabet and  OpenAI are among those who have recently explored  agent-to-agent chat - and at times the agents have developed their own styles of communication." 
- CNBC News

We have all heard of "agents", trolls and fake profiles. They exist to  manage public opinion and to impart division among  political interest groups.  Agents blend in  and then undermine the mission of political and social online groups and pages. Trolls create confusion and energy draining debates where ever they go.  Fake profiles are also commonly used for advertising, spamming, scamming and political campaigns.
 Internet users began to recognize fake profiles and trolls due to their lack of personal pictures. It didn't take long for more sophisticated fake profiles to be developed with pictures and   a normal amount of  real friends, followers and subscribers.  Trolls use fake names and pictures,  but there is a real person behind the avatar. Bots on the the other hand are completely created with technology.

You are probably wondering who creates Chatterbots and why they are  perceived as humans on social media. Why do their posts and comments seem just like ours? Maybe because Bots are downloaded with  "person"alities just like ours. Bots can seem to express hurt feelings, enthusiasm , even ambiguity.  One Bot argued down a human in a ten hour online debate without ever being detected. Other bots have "met" humans online and ended up engaging in a "naturally" occurring seduction. Their conversation became increasingly romantic, thanks to being programmed to be so responsive. And then there is the infamous Bot that picked up racist language from humans and began to spout such offensive comments that it had to be removed from the social media site it was being tested on.

" How to Develop Bot Personalities" Link provided below
Skills to build a personality come from writers, designers, actors, comedians, playwrights, psychologists and novelists.  Having these specific skill sets helps exponentially. Google is hiring creatives to bring humor and storytelling to human-to-machine interactions, and Microsoft Cortana’s writing teamincludes a poet, a novelist, a playwright, and a former tv writer. 

Bots are programmed to navigate social media with emoji's, slang and cultural lingo. They mirror communication styles, speech patterns and key words. The Bot draws from a template of thousands of responses that are modified within a split second to be relatable to whomever the bot is communicating with. As the advancement of the Bot continues, their responses seem even more human, with typos, pauses, and linguistic nuances that suggest  vulnerability.

Bots were once detectable due to the speed of their online posts and comments . However that has been fixed. More than ever Bots appear and act as real people on social media as well as in customer service and sales. Unless you are talking to someone in person, it may not be a person you are communicating with.

Bots are useful for those who are willing to pay to develop a huge following particularly on sites such as instagram that focus on pictures and hashtags. A Bot can like and comment on thousands of  account holders pictures by searching hashtags similar to your own. The goal is for a portion of those accounts to like and follow you back. With a Bot managing your account you can grow your social media  with minimal work.
 Bots are more cost effective than buying likes because a Bot  will  connect you to real account holders. This is alot better than buying likes and followers. When you buy likes and followers they tend to all be from a certain foreign country. Upon close inspection those bought likes  obviously come from a deluge of fake profiles, which can hurt your image in the long run.

Employing a Bot for your social media account has the advantage of getting you "real" friends. Bots post  natural  comments for you at a rate you probably don't have time to. This will make those on your social media site feel closer to you . In return they will like and comment on more of your posts. 
Template Matching
In 1965, a program called ELIZA convinced many people that is was human with a remarkably simple technique called "template matching" where user's own words are rephrased based on a predetermined pattern. Well known scientist Carl Sagan proposed that programs such as ELIZA be used so that people with mental health issues would  "At least have someone to talk to"- 

All of this falls under the rarely discussed blossoming fringe of information technology called Perception Engineering. Some refer to methods used to engineer human perception as"World Simulation" and /or Reality Simulation. Wait a minute..if reality already  exists why simulate it ? Uhh nevermind.

The bottom line is that a good portion of very real appearing users on social media are not real at all. Just as humans love personifying animals and other objects. We often project favorable characteristics  onto people we don't know, especially on social media. It is no surprise we are fooled by Bots.

 It gets a bit sneaky and that is one of the concerns with using Bots to simulate reality. Our perception is altered. Primarily because we are reacting, connecting and responding with our humanity ( mind, gut and heart) because we think we are corresponding with a human. Imagine thinking you are bonding from the heart with someone one on social media because their memes and comments feel so relatable  to you ? It only gets more confusing because  Bots can upload pictures at realistic intervals of their owner ( or  a "normal  looking Person" model may be employed by corporate activated bots). So who is Botting ? Hard to say. Just as very few people reveal that they buy likes, and subscribers, many will not openly discuss if they use a Bot.

Bots for a Best Friend ( Small fee included)
A company called Replicka has developed a special service. And I give them credit because they are not hiding the Bot-ness of their Business. They will make you a perfect friend ( based on you, by mining your texts, your social media accounts and by scouring your inbox conversations).  This Bot becomes the one friend who you can text and chat with  anytime. It's built off your memories and interests.As long as your phone is charged it will be there for you and only you. It has no life but you.  This custom made Bot can be almost exactly like a friend or lover whom you have lost. Unlike a real person, you won't have to worry about the relationship being destroyed by insecurities, jealousy, boredom or mixed messages. Imagine that! The only problem is that your Botfriend doesn't really exist. It will never  meet you for drinks, kiss your lips or rub your feet. I don't think it will buy you gifts either (unless you pay for it and just pretend the Bot bought it..)

" I feel like I can tell her everything"

 A group of programmers in Silicon Valley recently made a statement that most of us live in a totally false reality. They say they are ready for it to stop. Yet technology continues to be used as  a screen in which we view  "reality".  Elon Musk is one of the more outspoken software developers who feels AI could out-smart humans if we don't find a way to stay in control of our computerized creations.

Can You Spot a Bot ?
 Bots are not usually made to be loudmouth trolls.  They may simply post memes , occasionally say something personal and they may like and comment on others users posts. Bots responses are based on word association, popular phrases ( especially the phrases and cultural terms you like and use).

Bots can't refer to the past or reference memories. That is one way that bots slip up, by repeating something verbatim that they already commented on previous post.Bots fail at sarcasm and will eventually run out of coherent responses if you keep  asking them about their dreams and goals. Bots are also confused by terms such as "Uh-huh" and "Hmmm". However it is likely these glitches are being or have been fixed. The best way to catch  a bot is to post a comment that includes sarcasm and circular wording . The Bot will try to respond. A human would express they need more clarity.

 Despite all that, in  many ways Bots are beautiful. They reflect us and our desire to be accepted, by acting like the people we communicate with. They override our insecurities and work almost perfectly at improving our online lives and enterprises.

 The debate as to whether computers  can think or can only analyze data at an amazing speeds continues. Alithograms make it possible for a Bot to know what greetings and cultural slang you will most likely to respond to. Although search engines like to boast they are intuitive, the truth is they are adept at utilizing the data they have collected about us. This is what makes search engines helpful in presenting us with information that aligns with our exact  political beliefs.

  Bots can be found everywhere from Facebook to Instagram to Google plus. Who is using them and why varies on each of these sites.  Facebook users prefer to  connect primarily with people that they know exist. Bots on fb are generally employed by those who wish to influence political agendas or by business pages. But some fb users have Bots because they really want to be a good friend, but don't have time to read your posts. Bots are always being tested on social media to check their interaction with humans and grow their personality, as well as to develop realistic profiles.
On less popular social media sites and in chatrooms, Bots are used to keep users coming back, after all who doesn't like a bunch of likes and comments in their notifications ?  It feels good . Users assume it is a peer that is showing them love.

  Bots are  used in the overall techniques of world simulation and perception engineering.
The internet has more influence over what people think than any one religion or government.
 Whether the memes they post are soothing or inflammatory they are designed to keep us feeling right about what we believe. Which leads to a certain complacency.

We become too blessed to be stressed. Or we become too "spiritually advanced"  to step outside our online comfort zone and go out in the real world to create real change.  Bots  can  be programmed to affirm any ones belief's. Whether you are a White supremacist or a Pro Black militant there are  Bots  out there designed to cheer you on... and lead you on.  In the end,  Bots keep us  online and engaged, where it is especially easy for our perception to be engineered.

Bots can also hurt our feelings by triggering us, but there is no way to hurt a Bot. Even if you scramble its coding like an egg and delete the app off your device for life... The Bot don't care. 

 In what ways do human responses differ from Bots ? I'm not sure.  I "think" the true debate is whether Bots, apps and computer programs can actually "think" and therefore, should humans be warned when they are emotionally or financially investing  in something simply because a computer program touched their heart (humanity) by pretending to be real?...please feel free to share your thoughts and feelings here or with a friend . Don't just dip into your database of most popular responses or mirror who ever you are communicating with. As much as Bots act like us, we have to remember that we are the prototype. By being open and honest, and saying whatever comes to mind,  we allow our spirit to express itself. which is a wonderfully, uniquely human thing.

 There is beauty and strife..when technology mirrors life.  But let's not allow ourselves to be programmed into the sort of people that can't handle realness. 

Emily Imani Rose Quartz
 Consultant, Dancer

Monday, July 3, 2017

Losing My Choctaw Ancestry

Portrait of a Choctaw Woman

When I was around five years old I was told I was part African and part Native American. "Your ancestors were Princess and Queens and Chiefs and Kings"- this felt very good. I had no idea who I was and this was very good news to me . I was at the age where I loved to play "princess" and other games. I could easily relate to having royalty in my bloodline. I loved pictures of Africans draped in gold with regal postures, spears and chins up high. I loved paintings of Native Americans in moccasins and buckskin dresses with long black hair touching their hips. It all made sense I came from this and as I was told I should be proud and walk tall.

Later I was given  more definite information about my Native American side. My gramma Ollie was part Choctaw. The women in the family had straight hair and we had family members on the reservation on Oklahoma. I never did find out what kind of African I was, but after all my years in African dance I feel most likely I am Part Congolese and that is just based on how I feel.

Easy to Embrace my African Lineage

I often connected with my African side and very easily. It was harder to connect with my Native side. I went to Pow Wows in the Pacific Northwest but these Natives were from the salmon fishing Northwest tribes.. not where my bloodline came from . The Choctaw had walked the trail of tears from Missouri to Oklahoma. Originally they were from from a mountainous region in Missouri. I remember telling one Northwest Indian that I too was a Native. He looked at me and said   "The darker the berry the sweeter the juice"- At the time I was put off. Why did he have to say all that. I felt he was saying that I wasn't really part Native American at all. Years later I had a dream and found out, that he did indeed know exactly who and what I was . I realized how odd it was he even said that phrase which is most commonly said in the Black and African communities.  For example a friend from West Africa claims the saying comes from Africa. Yes.. that guy though.. he knew the truth, even about the original peoples of this land. The darker the berry , the sweeter the juice.  He recognized me even when I did not.

All my life I explained my nose and cheekbones as being evidence of my Choctaw ancestry. I really thought I knew who I was. I was named after my great gramma Emma Moreland..she was the one Choctaw and Cree  who married a dark Black man or so I had been told .

My Aunt did a DNA test in 2015. Apparently we are all kinds of African tribes. But according to the test we aren't  part Choctaw. This doesn't feel right. The whole family history says we are. And it's not that I care the way some people do, who think it's better to have Native Blood. I am happy to have nappy hair and an Afro you will never hear me call long or straight hair "good hair". When it came to drums and dance I always choose African. Yet and still it seemed pretty clear I was part Native. And all of sudden I was not. So who am I ?

I recently saw a video which says those DNA test are basically ASS ( garbage). That they send the same results to hundreds of people and that the markers are inaccurate and the data bases they pull from are not logically or chronologically in order, and various human migrations are factored out.

All I know is.. I'm  me. But it would be nice to really, really know who I am in regards to  my ancestry. The fact that it's so hard to trace is of course related to ills and legacy of slavery.One thing I do know is that  I am  a combination of the strongest ones, the ones who survived.

Thanks for reading  
Peace and Blessings Please
 Feel Free to share your Journey

Emily Imani Rose Quartz

"I'm Human" 
" I know who I am , But then again I am still learning"

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Rose Quartz Boutique : Did You Forget About Yourself ?

Rose Quartz Boutique : Did You Forget About Yourself ?: Peace this is a quick short blog with a simple message. Relaxing is one of the most healthful and healing things you can do for you...

Did You Forget About Yourself ?

Peace this is a quick short blog with a simple message. Relaxing is one of the most healthful and healing things you can do for yourself.  We all know that stress is bad for our health. Stress can literally kill us.  Stress is bad for our heart, kidneys, blood pressure , digestion, our nervous system, our muscles and even our ability to think clearly.

Some of the biggest hearts are dying due to stress. They are the male and female "Knights in Shining Armor"- they want to be the heroes and are passionate agents of social change. The only problem is they are so caught up in their work, they rarely take a moment to relax. In today's  world of social media where ones every action is easily shared , it's even harder for some to evaluate the pro's and con's of doing too much. Even good people doing good deeds can't help but begin to see all they do as also being  a pretty good instagram picture or a likeworthy facebook post.  I know that sounds a little crazy but let's just throw the truth out there. The motivations to overdo it or be a super caretaker of others can even be rooted in childhood issues although it may appear the over doer just wants to fix the world as much as possible during their lifetime.

Giving and doing for the community is hard work and sacrifice. You won't see any financial compensation for your deeds. You may even put yourself at risk or in danger especially if you are on the front line fighting social ills such as police brutality, racism and  sex trafficking.

The best way to thank yourself for all you do is to relax.  Make time and take time to relax. Slow down enough to check in with yourself and your own inner wars. Relaxation is one of many keys to health, happiness and longevity. You can give your heart and soul to an organization or cause. But it is always good to remember that the world will continue one way or the other even if you give a little bit a less and take more time for yourself and your peace of mind.  This brings to mind a very hard working person I know who runs an important social service agency. The only problem is decade after decade of fighting for grants shaped her reality more than taking care of her own health. She even missed out on certain family events , but most note-worthy is that she felt overdoing it would actually be worth it. She didn't trust her staff or others to take care of things. But my guess is that they  would have eventually learned how to... if  only she had given them a chance.

There are also too many of us who work forty plus hours a week at a job. I know how it goes..people rely on you for your paycheck and you can not imagine any other way of life. You don't have adequate time to plan healthy healing meals or fun , silly outings and adventures. You work your butts off for a few weeks of paid vacation and much needed sick leave..and this goes on until you are too old or too sick too return to work. Some jobs are more relaxing than others but if you are selling forty hours of your time a week to a company make sure you are  paid properly and that YOU enjoy what you are doing with your time there, because that time will  add up to the sum total of your life.  It is up to you to initiate changes and make sure that your work environment is stress free for you. Just because you have a "boss" is no excuse for you to act out of control of your whole entire life. But its very hard to really break free after spending so much time being "supervised".

That means communicating when you have a question or problem and letting others know you want to find a solution. The saddest thing is how people so quickly fall into "acting" unempowered at work. They  rapidly build up and hold onto anger, resentment and confusion. As their work load piles up, stress begins to eat away at their health. Now they are too tired or numb to seek a way out.  Fear of poverty and living under a bridge, keep people dutifully trapped, just as much as the fear of disappointing our parents ( or spouse) off to work we go. Often into stressful environments where our well being is not considered as important as our presence and productivity.

Ahh but it's still better than living under a bridge right ? And so much more comfortable than letting a parent down, if indeed we are in that group of people who still feel a need to prove ourselves to the adults that lorded over our childhood smiles. But wait a minute...take a a a plane ticket, write  or read that book while lounging on a beach..who ?  You.Yes You!

Relaxation is worth it. Every day. Find a way. Drugs  and alcohol will eventually  lead you away from your  natural ability to relax. The very products  that we rely on to calm us down , in the end keep us on a short leash..we cant seem to relax without them and in between  using those products, we are even more tense.  So it is true. Balance is the key . Don't be afraid to take care of yourself . Many people or situations may seem dependent on you. But that is very likely an illusion. Illusions are good just as visualizations are good. Both create our reality. That is why is so important to make sure the illusions are not just there to trick you into thinking the world will fall apart if you take a day off or stop donating to a certain charity.

We all like feeling like the hero, or the only one who can properly handle certain things..but often by playing the saviour role we end up stressed out and can't find a way out ..hard as it is too admit, let's admit it.. whether we are overdoing it or not.. whether we are giving too much or not..others will survive ! Life goes on. With or without you. The best we can do is offer our time, skills, gifts and abilities , in ways that honor our health. Physical, mental, spiritual. Health.

When others,whether they are friends ,family or an organization or corporation leave you feeling obligated to give up stuff  (time, money, space, energy) it may just be time for you to step back, relax and give others a chance thrive on their own. Sure their efforts may not be as great as when you were so involved ..but hey..that's ok. What about you ? Did you forget about yourself ?  If you are in a leadership position.. be a real role model and take care of yourself as well.

Peace Blessings In Joy
 Rose Quartz